Cultivating a Relationship With Yourself as a Sensitive, Introverted Woman
Introverts have incredible insight into other people. Being able to blend in, almost even become a fly on the wall in an inconspicuous way, helps the sensitive introvert to pick up on things that most people miss. We already know that introversion is a superpower. I spent quite a while in my last post talking about the importance of prioritizing your relationship with yourself. But we ended on the question of how do you do it? Let's talk more about the tactics and tips you may want to consider adopting to get more out of your relationship with yourself. These tips are born out of years of working with sensitive, introverted women in Florida and identifying as one myself. However, I also want to hear from you. What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below. In the meantime, enjoy this list to get folks started.
What do YOU want for yourself? What do you need?
First, I’m asking you to get clear on exactly what your ideal life flow is. Are you an early bird? A night owl? How much sleep do you need to feel rested? Do you need a nap in the middle of the day to feel rejuvenated? What kind of breakfast makes your body feel strong and nourished? How often do you need, and want, to shower? When is it time to wash your hair? How much sex do you want and need? What other movement and activities makes you feel good? These are just a few of the “basic, foundational needs” questions. (Remember Maslow? Yep…he was on to something!) As a sensitive, introverted woman, you have to get quiet, still, and thoughtful to consider what these answers truly are for you. Not what you think you “should” be answering. Not what you think you “deserve” because I honestly think you deserve so much more! Better. More fulfillment and joy.
As an introvert, it's important to establish a solid routine and hold yourself to it.
Yes. An actual, predictable, established routine. Daily, weekly, monthly, annually. Allow for exceptions and adjustments, but it's important for sensitive introverts like us to have an expectation of how our day should go. Perhaps I’ll create a longer post or even a series about this in the future, but overall, it’s important to consider your morning, afternoon, and bedtime routines. Yes, I’m a believer in morning routines! The way you start the day sets the tone for the rest of your day. Consider the questions above, and then consider your morning. What else do you need? What else do you want? How do you feel most fulfilled in the morning? Is there anything that helps you feel ready to take on the day? Anything to avoid that makes you feel dread or apathy? For one of my friends, turning on the TV in the morning is a recipe to procrastinate or stay in bed for far too long. So, she listens to podcasts in a very specific order while making her coffee and getting her breakfast together. This helps her feel productive and prepared for whatever the day will bring.
Morning. Afternoon. Night. Repeat.
The same formula you used for your morning routine should be used to design your ideal afternoon break or afternoon pick-me-up and your bedtime routine. Many of us hit a “wall” in the afternoon that we want to avoid if possible. You know, that afternoon slump where you would give anything to crawl back into bed and take a nap? If that works for your schedule and lifestyle, maybe you should! But if that’s not possible, consider what is best for you and design your day around it. Finally, sleep hygiene is key to a healthy relationship with yourself. If you are not getting the quality sleep you need, you are not going to be your best self. There are ample resources around sleep hygiene out there, but I would love your ideas below if you want to see a whole post around this as well! I’m pretty passionate about routines. Why? Because they work. Loving yourself in this way is an incredible gift.
Get real. Get honest. Don’t hide from yourself.
We can try to trick ourselves into believing anything. I get it. In fact, a mentor used to frequently lament about “…the lies we tell ourselves.” when discussing the bureaucracy of the workplace and how we dealt with those in it. However, lying to ourselves only works for a short time. We can’t run away from our true feelings and needs for very long. So, why is this a default mode for so many of us? I’m an introvert. I get it. We generally want to keep the peace and not overcomplicate things. This doesn’t mean we don’t have strong opinions or preferences. But, in overthinking and people-pleasing, we often end up compromising our own needs instead of standing strong and maintaining our boundaries.
THEN, as sensitive, introverted women, we take it a step further.
What do we do? In order to avoid the cognitive dissonance that comes from this compromise that we know we’re doing but have still made the choice to consent to, we convince ourselves that this is actually what we wanted! What. A. Mess. Untangling this pattern can take years, but it’s fully worth doing. And, of course, as an introvert coach for sensitive women, I can help.
Think about it. What are you running from? Hiding from? Rejecting your introversion or sensitivity? It may take some time to feel like you are truly ready to face it. That's okay. In the meantime, I’d love for you to take a look around. Read a few other posts about honoring your introversion, the curse of the sensitive introvert, and more throughout my blog for sensitive introverts! Is there something you want me to write about? Let me know!
Ready to Talk About the Radical Introvert Coaching Program?
As an experienced therapist and sensitive introvert, I am uniquely able to help support YOU, wherever you are. This coaching for introverted women program is different from other classes, therapy, and coaching you may have participated in before. We are going to be actively designing a life that is truly yours, amid the harsh reality of our fast-paced world. Whether you are in Florida, California, Texas, Washington, North Carolina, Oregon, Missouri, South Carolina, somewhere else in the United States, Canada, or even the United Kingdom and beyond…I want to help you THRIVE. To get started:
Schedule a free 30-minute conversation with me
Determine whether this coaching for sensitive, introverted women is for you
Work on cultivating your relationship with yourself to live a fulfilled life that works for you.
