“…and the bottom drops out.” What to do when reality shatters.
“Maybe the life you’ve lived until this point is why you can survive what’s going on now.”
If you’re familiar at all with my story, you know I’ve lived through some whirlwind events. Big life changes. The kind that makes your head spin a little. That teaches you a few things about a few things, even though you would have preferred to never have to learn those lessons in the first place. An unexpected divorce, a risky career move, a major physical move…it can feel like a lot for sensitive introverts. Overwhelming. Unfair. Have you felt this way? What was going on, sister?
Clear is Kind: But it may not keep you from getting hurt.
We can get into the full story of my divorce someday. But the short version is that in spite of being very clear about who I was when we got together, my ex decided I was no longer fulfilling his needs. Kids. Cooking. Our lifestyle. We once had an understanding and shared vision for our future together. And then one day, it shattered. He changed his mind. Suddenly, the choices we had agreed upon ages ago no longer fit for him. The life we’d imagined wasn’t enough. That meant that either I would have to change to stay with him or our marriage was over. Let me tell you. This was one of the lowest points in my life. And how unfair is that? I didn’t mislead anyone.
They say “clear is kind”, and I was crystal clear! I would learn later that the assumption was that I would change my mind eventually, too. But, this is simply not reality. My dear, “No.” is a complete sentence. “I don’t want to” is a valid reason. You do not owe anyone your truth. Your rationale. If you choose to gift them with your heart, it should be treasured. Accepted and cherished for exactly how it is. Nothing less.
Human. Beings.
But that sort of love and unconditional acceptance isn’t always what we get, right? Even when we pour our heart and soul into our marriage, our career, our family. There are human beings on the other end of the transaction. And we are all fundamentally flawed. We cannot always fully appreciate the beauty and peace around us. So, it feels more disappointing and soul-crushing when we’ve been let down by another human we trusted. A spouse or partner, a supervisor or mentor, a parent or best friend. The once stable floor disappears from underneath us, and we don’t know what to do.
3 Ways For Sensitive Introverts to Cope With Major Life Changes
Gosh, I wish I could give you the magic pill here and make it stop hurting. Truly, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, the only way out is through. So, instead of trying to tell you how to make it stop, I’ll tell you how to start feeling more aligned. More whole. More “you” again. Make no mistake: this is a loss. This is grief. You get to honor your sensitive, introverted nature by honoring the pain and loss before moving forward.
Get Quiet and Reflect
I wrote more about this last week, but our bodies need quiet. They need a rest and reset. Especially during and after times of intense stress. You cannot just keep powering through and expect it not to take a toll! As sensitive, introverted women, we have to allow ourselves time and space to process all of the intense emotions we are dealing with. The thoughts swirling around are so big. So deep. They need a place to land. You may want to reflect with journaling or dictating your feelings into your phone. I don’t care how they come out, but it is way healthier for those fears, angry rants, bitter disappointments, and dreams for your future to spill out somewhere than to live inside of you and take up precious real estate. You know, that space reserved for meeting your basic human needs.
Let Yourself Dream and Hope Again
It’s easy to wallow. It’s easy to get comfortable in the “suck” of it all. But you are a dreamer, my dear! You have big hopes. A big vision for your life. And, yes. This absolutely derailed things. For now. Not forever. Embrace your sensitive, introverted nature while demanding what you deserve next. A partner who actually gets you. A lover who wants to be with YOU, not some idealized and unrealistic picture of who they think you should be. A career that is fulfilling and run on your terms, either as an entrepreneur, solopreneur, or a member of a team who is valued for your specific contributions and strengths. Someone who has the guidance and support to take your dreams to the next level. Not someone who is pigeonholed into a task or role that doesn’t quite fit.
Imagine yourself cared for by family and friends who embrace the way you embrace life. Quietly. Deliberately. With passion and purpose. Wherever you want to be. Dream it. Vision board it. Write it in that journal you started, or start a brand new one full of hopes and dreams!
Find Support and Coaching Designed for Sensitive, Introverted Women
Finally, turn those dreams into a reality while honoring your past. Your pain is part of your story. Don’t let anyone tell you to just “get over it” or “stop focusing on it.” No, it won’t always be as painful or salient as it is now. But those traumas we face will always be a part of the fabric of our being. So, give yourself the gift of support to move forward with positive awareness. An empowerment coach who understands who you are and how you work. Someone who is both cheering you on and supporting your heart. “Tough love” isn’t required for coaching and support. But that’s the brand we see the most of, right? Quite frankly, there’s enough “tough” in the world. We can all use a bit more consistency and stability. Getting through each moment, exactly as it comes. That mindfulness and compassion for yourself will allow you to be where you are now and in the future. A beautiful future when these hurts are reduced to the background in your tapestry of greatness.
Learn More About the Radical Introvert Coaching Program in the US, Canada, and Beyond!
Of course, I want to be that empowering coach for you. Wherever you are in this journey, let’s honor your introversion and find your perfect path. Designing your life allows you to live it with freedom and less fear. This is my dream for you! To feel confident in the choices you are making, even if they are unconventional. Moving through the world with intentionality and purpose, without changing yourself to fit into our extroverted world. Yes, this can be done. If you’re curious, let’s talk. I want to get to know you and celebrate your sensitive, introverted self! When you’re ready, follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 30-minute conversation with me
Determine whether this coaching for sensitive, introverted women is for you
Start to redesign and rebuild your life on your terms, now.
